Dogmatic Boooshit

Do I want what it is I say I want bad enough to achieve it, become it, and immerse myself in it and be willing to accept the consequences of friends I may leave behind, time I will lose in transformation, and chance that nothing becomes of it?  Do I want it is that I say I want or am I just a pussy with colorful dreams of not being a pussy?

Ernest Hemingway is quoted as saying, “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”

To an extent that mother fucker is right.  You should always live up to what you say you can while you’re drunk, but as far as learning to keep your mouth shut?  Fuck you Ernie… We should talk so much shit while we’re drunk and we should believe it, because when you believe in the shit you’re talking, it’s easy to live it.  Don’t preach silence… talk big and talk loud, but only if you promise yourself that you won’t be a pussy at the end of the day.  When it comes time to own up to your statements pull your balls out and face your words and only your words.  Say only what you really intend to do, that, or shut the fuck up (you little-wienered pussy).

“…and those who were seen dancing were thought to be crazy by those who could not hear the music.”

this has nothing to do with the title but…

i’m pissy (ironically).  got me a fuckn dog. got me some fuckn haus m8s. doo doo is everywhere. no but seriously. i went to the bathroom to brush my teeth only to remember that my toothbrush is elsewhere. so i walked over to the cabinet where i keep my extra shit and PLOW. a delicious pile of piss i’ve stepped in to.

there’s one pile of piss covered in toilet paper. there’s another camoflouged pile of piss that you can’t see until you step in. and it wouldn’t be a party without a pile of fuckin turds. all of this shit is in the bathroom. the bathroom door is always closed!! GRRR GOD DAMNIT! if you’re not going to take the dog out, at least be willing to clean his shit up. if you’re not willing to do any of that then leave him in the cage. it’s a fucked way to look at it but if you’re “caring” for the dog by letting him out at least have some respect towards the people you live with. watch the fucking dog. keep him in your room. it’s not our fault he didn’t get taken out, so we shouldn’t all have to suffer. if he’s going to piss, i hope to hell he does it in your room.

but he won’t… because he knows he’s not supposed to pee inside. and letting him roam the inside of the house is a surefire way to get him to piss somewhere when you’re not looking. retards. i’m not picking any of that shit up no matter what… because i walk the dog and it pisses and shits outside when i do.

i’d like to plant some turds in my roommates’ cars/rooms for them to find one day. but i wont. i should. but i wont.

i’m starting to understand why no roommate is the best roommate. fuckin wankers

looking back from the future

my main flaw is that i never take things to the next level.  i always believe i can do certain things but i never push myself hard enough to become what i know i can. instead i remain mediocre at shit i want to be awesome at. it’s not that i don’t try at all, it’s that i try just hard enough to keep myself believing i can do it but never actually following through with all i’ve got. (tattoo artist, architect, band member) i’ve never given it my all to become any of these but i feel like i’ve got what it takes if i would just devote myself to a cause. at this rate i’ll be the old dying fuckin man who regretted not trying his hand at life.

basically my recent endeavors with accounting has tainted my view of a business degree and things i’ve got coming up like business financing are just ridiculous. who knows how long we’ve got on this fuckin earth. feeling the need to do the things i want because every day that goes by we get alittle bit older and our dreams become something we should’ve done long ago. and end up locking ourselves out of them. i don’t want to be that way but i can’t help but feel time is slipping away. i’ve got to overcome the idea of age being a factor.

“No one person on this earth can change their past, but every single person on this earth can, starting today, change their future.”

CDs!

Decided I’d make a list of things that I come across that I want.  The CDs! list is just poopcrap that I can’t find on thepiratebay’s site. One day I’ll get my hands on these damn things.  If I’m bored enough, I’ll make a post for games.

• Streetlight Manifesto - “Everything Goes Numb”
• Valient Thorr - “Immortalizer”
• Valient Thorr - “Total Universe Man”
• Valient Thorr - “In Heat” (DVD)
• Jef Stott - “Saracen”

Slow Country

i can’t stand being this lonely and i never have been before. it makes me miserable. nugg in another city and i guess i just feel like i have so many fucking acquaintances and no real friends around. at least when i was at home for the summer i had my family members… it’s just ridiculous how depressed i seem to be getting about this. i’ve played more video games with my 14 year old little sister this summer than my roommates in college. just seems like no one is ever around and i’m left alone at home all the damn time. and to put another turd on the shit pile, i’m taking a summer class for my major that i don’t even think i want anymore. time to think positive instead of this poopcrap… searching for inspiration in background music and a tiny booklet that i write happy shit in.